I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
