I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
