you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
