i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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