Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You need Xanax blowdarts
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
