I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
