I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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