Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
