That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
