just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
