so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
