we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize