you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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