Your tits are I can't wait for
wakey wakey hands off snakey
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
