i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
