Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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