laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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