and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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