I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
