Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The struggles of a small town man whore
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
