No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
