i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
