i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
