Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
