That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The ass gains better be worth it
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