Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize