i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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