Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
