my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
