That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
