thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
