we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
