I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
