No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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