Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
