Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
