i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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