Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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