pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
