I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
