508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
