wat bout pragnant strippers??
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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