I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
