Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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