Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize