i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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