for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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