But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
