Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
