He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
