My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
