i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
