Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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