ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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